I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he quoted the bible to break up with me
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
