do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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