Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
