Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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