Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
