you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it