So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.