Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.