Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
