Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Have a good day. My vagina shrank.

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  (734): Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember. (734): Have a good day. My vagina shrank. http://tfl.nu/3o44
  Replies (7) Good night (540) Bad night (1672)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?

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  (228): Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table? http://tfl.nu/oj90
  Replies (37) Good night (4654) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???

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  (609): i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on??? http://tfl.nu/8had
  Replies (51) Good night (902) Bad night (4790) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?

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  (727): Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose? http://tfl.nu/qulw
  Replies (112) Good night (1076) Bad night (15925) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.

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  (902): He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock. http://tfl.nu/ce76
  Replies (20) Good night (2944) Bad night (4970) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.

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  (973): her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it. http://tfl.nu/lrhx
  Replies (10) Good night (5162) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?

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  (563): I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor? http://tfl.nu/8nw2
  Replies (12) Good night (1543) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.

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  (425): Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me. http://tfl.nu/5m5h
  Replies (2) Good night (864) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.

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  (248): He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall. http://tfl.nu/m004
  Replies (10) Good night (2145) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.

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  (607): I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/nmbl
  Replies (4) Good night (801) Bad night (262) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer

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  (707): Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer http://tfl.nu/jesn
  Replies (2) Good night (378) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.

  (682): View more from Texas

  Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.

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  (210): Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that. (682): Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude. http://tfl.nu/g9al
  Replies (2) Good night (461) Bad night (761)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks

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  (603): Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks http://tfl.nu/ddr9
  Replies (8) Good night (259) Bad night (487)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find

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  (215): shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find http://tfl.nu/sf13
  Replies (4) Good night (518) Bad night (259) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.

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  (708): Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store. http://tfl.nu/aft6
  Replies (0) Good night (256) Bad night (153) Order T-Shirt

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