I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
