thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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