My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
false alarm, still single
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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