dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Sober January is a disaster.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
