Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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