Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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