Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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