Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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