she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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