I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
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