He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
In America we eat man semen.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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