Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Your dad touched me again.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
