Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
