yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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