i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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