you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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