Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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