Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
