I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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