i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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