I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
