Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
