idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
