Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
