No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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