Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
