Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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