Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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