I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
im six kinds of drunk right now
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
