There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
