No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
