I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just pee around me
BRING THE BAGELS
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
