maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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