I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She told me I should be a condom model.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Bring me that man meat
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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