I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
