If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
