are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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