Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
