You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
