its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
