Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
