I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
