She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
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