you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
