Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
