Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
