Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
