Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
