Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Randomize
