I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
