i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
