I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
