i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Also, beer. Big fan.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
