just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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