I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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