It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
