Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
