Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize