So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize