I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you win again, gameday.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
