the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she looked like the before picture.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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