Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
