i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
