Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
