Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
