Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
