apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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